Lessons from a 35-Year Old Marriage ❤️

Family is the basic unit of society. The home is every child's first school, and the parents are the first teachers. That's why my brother and I are very blessed to have learned the basics of life from no other than the best models - our dear Papa and Mama.

They celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary last May 31, and today, June 3, my husband and I are celebrating our 65th monthsary as a couple (we're 30 months married yesterday). Allow me to share three things I learned from the example of my parents that I now apply in my married life.

1. Your spouse should be your best friend. All successful marriages that I know is strongly founded on friendship. It is very important that you're comfortable with each other, and that you can be your most authentic self without fear of being judged or ridiculed. Aside from love, trust and honesty are also the building blocks of a lasting relationship. Papa and Mama are each other's most trusted confidant. They know everything about each other, that's why we also grew up telling them everything that's going on in and around us. I do the same with my husband. He's the first person to know everything about me - my dreams and wishes, my fears and frustrations - past, present, and future. I don't withhold any information, because as what Papa always say, "ang paglilihim ay nakakalamat ng relasyon." Secrets and lies make the other person feel that he/she is not worthy of the truth, and that really hurts. So yes, let your spouse be your "go-to" person. If you have that one friend left, let it be your other half. I truly admire and appreciate the fact that my parents can talk about anything and everything under the sun, but are also comfortable with silence.  They are best friends, partners for life, comrades-in-arms, together forever. ❣️ In Tagalog, "magkakampi hanggang dulo." Walang laglagan, walang iwanan. 😊 Pao and I are doing our best to imitate that kind of love. 💕

2. Keep things (and life) simple. When arguments arise, and you bet, they will, just talk things through with the objective to arrive at a resolution. Stick to the facts. Don't complicate things by jumping into conclusions, making generalizations, and overthinking. My parents are not perfect but I'm really proud to say that I haven't seen them fight so hard to the point of wanting to leave each other. Never. They do argue, but they always stick to the issue. We don't have much drama in the family because there is open communication and we are always reminded by our parents to take things one at a time, resolve problems one by one, not all at the same time. And I'm super glad that my husband also likes to keep things simple. So whenever I panic and start to overthink, he reminds me to slow down, breathe, and focus on what needs to be done first. We break things down to the smallest bit possible, we simplify, so we won't get overwhelmed. 😊 Pretty much how my parents do it. 🙂 Pao is already an expert in this aspect. I'm still a work in progress. 😅

3. PRAY. And surrender everything to the Lord. This is the most powerful tip. Because in the end, it's really just grace, mercy, and God's faithfulness, that will hold you together. The past 35 years were full of ups and downs, tears and fears, struggles and challenges, but my parents are able to pull through because of their strong faith in God and in each other. They knew that as long as they have God and each other, they will overcome anything and everything. We believe the same. 😊 I know we still have a long way to go, but we'll go and grow through every hurdle together, with God. Forever. ❤️

Image Source: Pinterest

Let me end with this beautiful quote about marriage. Nobody said it will be easy, but it will always be worth it. ❣️

Don't just get married. Stay happily married. 💞

Love and blessings,

Aiza 💕